I Wanted My Big Sister

It's been building up.
and building up.
and creepy crawling up.

I couldn't take it anymore.
any of it.
any of you.

I tried to fight it back.
and again.

The tears came out.
and they didn't stop.
and they couldn't stop.

The heavy weeping.
and the sobbing.
and the heaving.

I just kept on.
and on.
and on.

I didn't really want you.
and you sat there.
and you stared.

I wanted my big sis.
and her reassurances.
and her comforts.

She would've made me laugh.
at you.
at it all.

She would've helped me through.
and I would have been okay.
and I would have been better.

But she wasn't here.
and I cried.
and you didn't know what to do.

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